Wednesday, January 30, 2008

STRESSED = DESSERTS????? no...!

Suddenly, feeling so stressed...

I let the music drifting through my head, trying to calm down. But why, still i am worrying...

Tomorrow is too critical for me...Worrying something haven't happened has been my habit, try to kick it off, though it is as if an irritating bug, keep dragging me...

Test, quiz, meeting, working...how shall i balance them?

Allow me to scream, shout, yell! ARGH...!

Well, cool down...There is always a way to sort them out. Be calm, relaxed, focus.

Let the tears drain out, all together with all my stress...searching for a way out...

I'll be fine. Yes, I'm fine.

anticipatory emotion

goal - anticipatory emotion - behavior - goal attainment - outcome emotion

Now, it's a critical time for me...tomorrow will be sitting for 2 papers (both i am weak at!). I feel so stressful most of the time. Lack of the time to do sufficient revision. Though, i keep telling myself, emotion works! If i keep thinking negatively, it's impossible for me to achieve more...(according to emotional management) I have to admit my emotional stability is still at the low level, which is much influenced by self-esteem. Since i have seen this, i try to stabilize, make myself calmer whatever happens. Believe in myself, nothing is worse enough to kill me, right?

With the anticipatory emotion, which is going back home during Chinese New Year, i am so looking forward to see my dearest family and friends. Home sweet home, home is always the warmest place i have never found else where! With this, i have more motivation to strive here...

Jia You!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

eat too much

The eyelids are getting heavier...the ambiance of library as if lullaby in the air...

These 2 weeks are test one week. I have 5 papers. Yesterday, one was gone. Halal food, i used to like this subject. This makes me recalling to my part time job during school holidays. I was promoting a new food product, Bahram satay paste. I realized how inflexible Muslim eating rules are! They are doubtful whenever we promoted our product, even showing them the halal certificate...Only now, i know it is really a sin if they consume something believed as najs. I started to think, how do those chinese converted Muslim friends adapt? Many of us must think their foods always the same, so many limitations...boring...However, they believe what permitted has been enough, those prohibited are extra too much for them, according to Allah.

Absolutely, we have been eaten too much every day. If human beings continue their eating habits, billions of innocent living things are suffered. Do you realize, how often and how much do u eat everyday? Do you eat because you are hungry or simply because you WANT to eat?

I agree eating can bring pleasure to us. I like eating! From chocolate, ice-cream, snacks, rice, noodles, fish and chips to chop and steak. I personally have no any limitation on food. Anything i can swallow. I love gathering, eating with family and friends is just GREAT! Anyhow, chinese say, 病从口入,diseases are sourced from mouths! One has told me, human eat too much! Due to unhealthy eating habit, we are getting aggressive. What more, we are doing harm to animals...

Some might beg to differ they are bringing growth to f&b industry. Well, that's true. As i am going to venture in that industry now and in the future. To me, eating is an art. Do not eat too heavy, do not order too much until you cannot stuck it to your stomach. Eating slowly, with beautiful music lingering around, with green tea...enjoying food while enjoying life! Suddenly, i think of reunion dinner that is coming soon. I miss home, I miss my mum's cook.

Counting down : 12 days more to go back home!

insignificant

one week passed...i try to grab every tuesday to online and post my feelings to my blog...
sometimes i think it is a very essential things to record down my feelings, as if finding a way to drift it out from my heart. learning organizational behavior, again, we were introduced abraham maslow hierarchy of needs.
in the past, meaning in those young days (haha...meaning those days of secondary school years), i feel i was reaching the self actualization rank...always find ways to fulfill my potentials...i was confident, happily living every day with a lot of friends, always getting appraisal in academic and activities involved.
however, now...people change...i am more conservative nowadays. my confidence level dropped...to a critical point, for certain time. i feel i am in the belongingness rank now. looking for sincere love, friendship...most probably the problem lies inside of myself, how do you expect true love from someone if you never open your heart to accept somebody sincerely? perhaps many of the times, i prefer to be alone...living my little own world, listening music, reading my books...it is tiring to entertain all people around you all the time!
well, life is cruel...if you really want something happens to you, effort is needed. nothing as free lunch or gift falling from the sky. try to smile always...be initiative...(am i really have to do so? cant i just live the way of i like? must i surrender to reality?) is it necessary to climb to the top of maslow hierarchy?
  1. remain insignificant, yet looking forward to be significant, that's why problems occur...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sabah, wait for me!

too imaginative...thus it's hard to return to reality sometimes...
have been back to school from part time works, feeling it's always good to be a student (Fr. etudiant). i like languages...very fortunately, i m able to learn Francais in this semester, and next semester as well!
however, test one is coming. i am still as a floating stick in the ocean...don't know where to head.
anyway, this semester i have already tried something new : working part time as waitress, being involved in organizing committee of chinese new year carnival in campus...still, i am planning for some more...guess what, i am gonna realize my Sabah dream in the coming semester break!
having a dream to pursue is always motivating! so for time being, saving enough money is the priority.
go! go! go! never surrender!

Friday, January 11, 2008

having my own little space

finally, one of my dream have realised, ie having my own little blog space (simple dream, isn't it?)
anyway, having a space to share all my thoughts and ideas and maybe...just have fun!
looking forward for your comments, friends!