i'm sorry

i am sorry, i am still the same me. you said you wanted to train me to be the firmer person. again, my tears were still dropping. i couldn't control the shedding of it.

i am sorry. i am still too soft, too straight.

the more i hold it back, the more the tears shed. i cried, not because i was being bullied or being shouted at. i cried because of hating the weak me! i should stand straight with the firm voice, fighting back, but not like a timid snail, hiding inside its shell and self pitying.

the solf voice of comforting, "don't cry! take it easy!" made it worse. who says i am crying? yet the tears drop? do you think i really want to cry? like a crying baby? i am not! i never was and never am!

is crying making you addicted? the more you cry, the harder you stop it!

well, it's really true. heaps of laughter and cry make up my days...it's my life here, full of ups and downs...it's part and parcel, to make me stronger!

Daylight Saving Ends

Happy Easter!
Today, 4th April, not only is the Easter Sunday, but it the day when daylight saving ends.

New Zealand is one of the funniest country which changes the time every year! Today, the time is going back one hour. Which means, we were all the while 5 hours ahead of Malaysian time since last September, today onwards, it would be only 4 hours ahead.

The ending of daylight saving also symbolizes the ending of summer. The length of day time is getting shorter. Winter is approaching...in two months time.

One thing interesting here is the weather. Unpredictable weather, just like my mood, swings easily. Sunny morning, windy evening. You could get sun-burned and chilling cold in the same day.

Anyway, 2 more months, i am going to say goodbye to this lovely city and back to my all-time summer beloved Malaysia! I have learnt appreciating the sun-shine.

Cheers!

Pimples

Nowadays, the little dots have been hostilely invading my face! They would like to colonize it, won't they?

People says, in this nice weather in New Zealand, you would be able to keep a clean face by getting rid of those annoying acne and some skin problem! I agreeD to it when I first arrived here. But lately, this is totally different story!

Probably it is due to stress? I believe it as nowadays I would just suddenly woke up from nightmare and still depressed over the workloads every time I woke up. Probably it is due to improper diet? I believe it as I always take spicy and strong flavor food to enhance my appetite. Probably it is due to improper skin management? Probably, probably, probably...

Gosh! It brings me so much trauma each time I looked at the mirror...

It's time to really take a serious step in controlling my diet, no more curry! no more fried food...
(or try to minimize, if can't really cut off totally)

And the most important thing, relax! Be happy! Be cheerful! There is NOTHING to stress about!

Smile and laugh, as it is the music to your soul! Cheers!!

No Crown

Once upon a time, there were two princess living in a castle. Princess Samantha and Princess Diana always played and studied together. The two intelligent princess were following the king and the queen to learn a lot of things, from cooking in the kitchen to hunting in the jungle.

One day, the king told the two princess, it's time for both of you to leave the castle and learn to be independent. With lots of blessings, Princess Samantha and Princess Diana left the comfort zone and moved into the unknown...

Without any direction, but with no fear, both princess played and enjoyed their journey all the while. Until, they reached another castle where people were differently dressed up and behaved. Both curious and innocent princess were amazed by the new environment. With the intention of learning something new, Princess Samantha and Princess Diana decided to stay at that castle.

In the castle, men and women were treated equally and a lot of romances were happening here and there. Princess Diana was fiercely courted by the mighty knight of the castle. Here come the love story. Both of them were having sweet time with each other. However, the knight forgot all the training and Princess Diana forgot about the initial intention to move to this castle, which is to learn as much as possible so to contribute to her own kingdom. Love is blind.

One day, a war happened in the castle where the both princess currently stayed. The enemy invaded and took all the valuable things away. People insides the castle were starving. A lot of people were starving and suffering. Seeing the poor condition, the knight and Princess Diana left the castle, there was no future to stay there any longer. Poor Princess Samantha looked at the worse situation, feeling sad...People were leaving one after one, she was getting more and more lonely...Yet, she did not forget about her first intention. She wanted to hang on...to do whatever she could to help.

The war stopped. But the damaged has been done and the re-build was taking time. A lot of people were helping in the re-building process. Some great builders from another kingdom volunteered to help out. At least, Princess Samantha was not alone.

Time's up. Princess Samantha bid goodbye to the beautiful re-built kingdom and back to her own castle. Her hands were rough, her skin was tanned, but she was still the cheerful jolly Princess Samantha. The king and queen gave her a tight welcoming hug! Both King and Queen were so sad seeing their lovely daughter's rough hand and rugged hair yet so proud of her. They passed her the crown and putting it on her cut-short hair.

Princess Samantha politely rejected, "No crown, we work as a team!"

This should be the way, everybody, no matter who you are, should pour in your efforts, togetherness, equality, co-operation. Glory is meant to be shared!

Wellington Sunday Market

It's Sunday again! It's time to go pasar!
You know, due to the cheap price, there are a lot of people get their weekly groceries there! You can find the cheap heaps of fruits and vegetables! The stalls are mostly run by the Chinese and Maori community.

I like there, just like every Sunday i went to pasar with my mum! But this pasar is much bigger! I like to see the big basket of apples, apricots, peaches, bananas, plums, strawberries, nectarines, mangoes, tomatoes etc. My god, i love fruits! It's like a paradise of fruits!
See, apple season is on! 5kg of apples, a big sacks, only costs you 4 bucks!

It's a lovely morning to shop at this Sunday market (although it's really heavy to carry all the stuffs alone) !

Cheers!

Too Many Chiefs But Too Little Indians

You know, I was told this morning, Too Many Chiefs But Too Little Indians. This is the problems happened here. See, so many persons with different authorities, with different sayings. Remember a saying goes as Work As A Team, definitely not like this! With so many chiefs, the direction is not fixed. With different benefits wanted, the implementation of ideas is varies.

Look at it properly, the Indians are only asking to earn a living. Once the problem is solved, then nothing to worry. However, too few Indians, yet the chiefs are arguing with different stands and opinions. The Indians are confused, who to follow? What to follow?

In the end, blood is still thicker than water. After turning a big circle, it comes to the central point which was the beginning. After so much happened, now back to the old story, old system.

How I miss my carefree laugh...When will it be ended? Or it starts to circle again...then back to the starting point...round and round and round...never ending...

Big Apple? Rotten Apple?

There's come a big apple, everybody is trying so hard to get near to it. From far, it is nice to see, looked so delicious.

Sooner or later, people who get near to it discover there is something fishy about the apple, something wrong with it. Some says, it's rotten! Throw it away!

Some still blinded by it's external beauty, claiming that, no! It's still okay!

By keeping the rotten apple, other good apples infected, to a certain extent. At first, there is a crowd to approach the apples, now no more, because the news of rotten apple has spread.

No matter how unbearable, rotten apple should be thrown away.

It does not mean that rotten apple is not good, it is good in somewhere else, not certainly not for fruit consumption purpose...

Well, at last, it is thrown.

It's time for the other apples to start re-organizing and get a fresh start!