Wesak Day

Wesak Day, first time i was helping out at chinese temple.

I am not a Buddhist, so it's quite weird before entering the temple. Anyway, it was good to have something to do, compared to idling at home.

I am a home lover. Yet sometimes i feel hard to have fun communication with my parents. Sometimes i feel there is a gap between us, i know it is generation gap, so called. However it should not be there! I always love to live in the peaceful and harmonious environment...like dear kitty's world. Oh, that's my dream. Sometimes, having some adventures, and being so innocent and cute and adorable all the time! Haha!

Well, let's have faith! I will build my Kitty's world!

Gone!

It's a Sunday morning. We went out to have our family breakfast. On the way back, i told casually about Shiau Hui is on her 2 months industrial attachment at Minyak Beku now.

Mum: How about you? Where will you go later?

Me: Don't know. No mood to study anymore...

Mum (started to get agitated): Why? Where is your passion and enthusiasm you used to have?

Me: Gone!

Indeed. I used to be so motivated to do anything. But recently, i am lost. I don't know what is the meaning i stay at this world. Maybe i have the high expectation burden from everyone around me. I started to know i couldn't reach that. I am not as good as they think. I am not the high achiever! Then even i could hardly accept who i am now.

And, i blame everything, everyone. Please don't put any expectation to me anymore! I am just as insignificant as the little ant passing under your toes that is hardly to be noticed. Just let me do whatever i want to do.

Or somebody...give me a guide?

Something to fill my empty heart?

Having been quite a long time (about a month) didn't write my diary...she must be upset for being abandoned for so long...

Have been at home doing nothing for 2 days, start thinking what should i do in this holidays. Work vs Travel? Of course i want to travel as far as i could in my limited time, but it needs money...back to reality.

In fact staying at home is good. Grab a book, spend the whole afternoon dwelling in it...then make myself some fresh fruit juice, refreshing! Once a while, bake some cookies or little cakes, sharing with family and neighbours....as the saying goes: cooking is fun, sharing food is life great pleasure! When mum is free, we go dressing up and having an afternoon tea at some newly opened cafe. In the morning, we go pasar together, choosing vegetables and dishes for lunch and dinner. When dad is back, nothing is greater! Tagged along with dear dad, going shopping and having great journey of taste!

Reading newspaper, the earthquake at sichuan and cyclone at myammar is terrifying. In comparison, i am much much more fortunate. That is why i feel good at home...but being stayed at one place for a long time is extremely hard for me. I have a freedom soul. My invisible wings always long to fly!

I always wonder if i could do something meaningful. Not just satisfy my desire of traveling, but satisfy other people dreams as well...i need to find peace in my heart, and i know helping people is my way out...

Looking forward to something...

Cheer for life!

Finally my sabah dream is realized!

Really thanks to Cynthia, she is so keen at organizing activities for me...though couldn't accompany me all the time.

Reached the peak of mt kinabalu, it's a undescribable feeling! Just feeling wanna jump into the clouds, for a moment, i thought i was in the heaven!

Having been in this world, not to worry too much. Just enjoy every moment!

Having fun with everything. Laugh. Cheers!