In or Out

It's as simple as ABC - in fact it's simpler (compared to 3 choices of alphabets, you only have two choices - in / out).

Yet it's so hard to make the decision.
In - go into it and do it wholeheartedly without thinking much of the other alternative pathway to runaway. Just Do It, as nike says. No matter how hard it is, all you need to do is to resolve all the obstables which hinder you move forward. In, in, go inside and reach the top!
Out - Be decisive and say "no". Quit it when you think the situation is not right. Just turn it OFF. Or SMASH it. Out, it's another wisdom - not to mean give up, but find something else new, start afresh.

Most of the time, we are trapped in between - in or out. In the end, we reserve our energy, feeling , effort etc. This is a waste of time because we lost. As if a zombie, days pass but when asked: what have you done? the standard answer: i don't know. Some rather fool themselves, I am patiently waiting for something to happen. Well, waiting and waiting. Repeating day after day routine. In the end, you forget what you are waiting and even the opportunity comes, you miss it.

How sad! And seriously, i am trapped..

Growing personality

People do change with time flies, don't they?

I have seen a photo by contrasting both a kid and an old man - the innocent laugh of the child and the serious face of the wrinkled face. The more you grow, the more things carried upon your shoulder, forcing the creation of wrinkles. People at our age, especially those who has stepped into the working industry, who can always show the most real and innocent face to everybody?? Has you been in the midst of anger surrounding, but still curving your lips into the lovely "smile" shape which expresses courtesy and politeness. Has you been cursing somebody (normally the superior) deep inside the heart but the actual words coming out from the mouth were compliment and exciting exclaimation? How true! How real! We are taught to be polite (especially asians), hardly say no and showing the real self in front of others. It's just so "kurang ajar". For people who has been under education (ajaran), what we should behave is behave yourself!

Sometimes, a lot of the times, I really feel i wanna find my tantrums and throw it to those I was angry with. But my guilt and regret and seft pitiness are always greater than my anger. So I end up in self-blaming and in consequences lowering self-esteem. What's my value? Why I keep doing the stupid idiot mistake? Am I really the dummy?

Well, I really hope I could be more relaxed and put my nerve into the standard mode.

Resumed

It has been a while since I stop posting anything on blog. No doubt there is phobia for being more careful this time, which the words could kill (any relationship).

Some updates of myself noticeable: growing, with more stable mentality and quieter personality.

I sincerely wish this growth will continue and reach a certain level where by I could say I am independent and well-rounded.

Cheers.

Touch the World

It's going to be tough...but i am determined. That's my dream all the while and now i am going to realize it - the solo journey.

Slinging a light luggage, with a diary and camera...off i go to explore. It's going to my adventure, my memory.

quiz of the day

What is it behind a in front of a woman but behind of a cow?

The answer is .......................




W



"W" oman
co "W"


I've got it right.
Have you?

Quiz of the Day

What is the difference between the lady in the church and the lady in the bathroom?
The answer is:










Woman in the church: the soul full of hope
Woman in the bathroom: the hole full of soap



Sorry, it's just a crap joke.

A Woman's World

Was spending my whole off-day in the library, poking my nose into a small simple book entitled: A Woman's World.

It's a book about the solo travels of women, their stories and experiences, very motivating and intriguing.

It's true to say that there is much difference between the creatures from Mars and Venus. From the book, i agree that a woman's journey is varied from a man's even thought some routes taken. Women are more to relationship and empathy to some little things around them. While men are more to maps, directions, picture snapping etc. Yet, generally, it takes more courage for a woman to step on a solo journey as women often to be viewed as vulnerable and needed protection.

Come on, we are not weak. We can be strong and enjoy our freedom as much as we wish to. But first and foremost, to step on own foot, you need to know carry your own baggage and weight. It's a meaningful quote from the book. Not only mean that you must be physically capable to carry your luggage on your own, you must be mentally able to carry the responsibility and risk following you.

Instead, women can enjoy a lot of privilege. That is true. But many of the times, a principle must be there so that we are not being drifted by the different cultures and trends when traveling.

Well, come out from your comfort zones and venture out!

i'm sorry

i am sorry, i am still the same me. you said you wanted to train me to be the firmer person. again, my tears were still dropping. i couldn't control the shedding of it.

i am sorry. i am still too soft, too straight.

the more i hold it back, the more the tears shed. i cried, not because i was being bullied or being shouted at. i cried because of hating the weak me! i should stand straight with the firm voice, fighting back, but not like a timid snail, hiding inside its shell and self pitying.

the solf voice of comforting, "don't cry! take it easy!" made it worse. who says i am crying? yet the tears drop? do you think i really want to cry? like a crying baby? i am not! i never was and never am!

is crying making you addicted? the more you cry, the harder you stop it!

well, it's really true. heaps of laughter and cry make up my days...it's my life here, full of ups and downs...it's part and parcel, to make me stronger!

Daylight Saving Ends

Happy Easter!
Today, 4th April, not only is the Easter Sunday, but it the day when daylight saving ends.

New Zealand is one of the funniest country which changes the time every year! Today, the time is going back one hour. Which means, we were all the while 5 hours ahead of Malaysian time since last September, today onwards, it would be only 4 hours ahead.

The ending of daylight saving also symbolizes the ending of summer. The length of day time is getting shorter. Winter is approaching...in two months time.

One thing interesting here is the weather. Unpredictable weather, just like my mood, swings easily. Sunny morning, windy evening. You could get sun-burned and chilling cold in the same day.

Anyway, 2 more months, i am going to say goodbye to this lovely city and back to my all-time summer beloved Malaysia! I have learnt appreciating the sun-shine.

Cheers!

Pimples

Nowadays, the little dots have been hostilely invading my face! They would like to colonize it, won't they?

People says, in this nice weather in New Zealand, you would be able to keep a clean face by getting rid of those annoying acne and some skin problem! I agreeD to it when I first arrived here. But lately, this is totally different story!

Probably it is due to stress? I believe it as nowadays I would just suddenly woke up from nightmare and still depressed over the workloads every time I woke up. Probably it is due to improper diet? I believe it as I always take spicy and strong flavor food to enhance my appetite. Probably it is due to improper skin management? Probably, probably, probably...

Gosh! It brings me so much trauma each time I looked at the mirror...

It's time to really take a serious step in controlling my diet, no more curry! no more fried food...
(or try to minimize, if can't really cut off totally)

And the most important thing, relax! Be happy! Be cheerful! There is NOTHING to stress about!

Smile and laugh, as it is the music to your soul! Cheers!!

No Crown

Once upon a time, there were two princess living in a castle. Princess Samantha and Princess Diana always played and studied together. The two intelligent princess were following the king and the queen to learn a lot of things, from cooking in the kitchen to hunting in the jungle.

One day, the king told the two princess, it's time for both of you to leave the castle and learn to be independent. With lots of blessings, Princess Samantha and Princess Diana left the comfort zone and moved into the unknown...

Without any direction, but with no fear, both princess played and enjoyed their journey all the while. Until, they reached another castle where people were differently dressed up and behaved. Both curious and innocent princess were amazed by the new environment. With the intention of learning something new, Princess Samantha and Princess Diana decided to stay at that castle.

In the castle, men and women were treated equally and a lot of romances were happening here and there. Princess Diana was fiercely courted by the mighty knight of the castle. Here come the love story. Both of them were having sweet time with each other. However, the knight forgot all the training and Princess Diana forgot about the initial intention to move to this castle, which is to learn as much as possible so to contribute to her own kingdom. Love is blind.

One day, a war happened in the castle where the both princess currently stayed. The enemy invaded and took all the valuable things away. People insides the castle were starving. A lot of people were starving and suffering. Seeing the poor condition, the knight and Princess Diana left the castle, there was no future to stay there any longer. Poor Princess Samantha looked at the worse situation, feeling sad...People were leaving one after one, she was getting more and more lonely...Yet, she did not forget about her first intention. She wanted to hang on...to do whatever she could to help.

The war stopped. But the damaged has been done and the re-build was taking time. A lot of people were helping in the re-building process. Some great builders from another kingdom volunteered to help out. At least, Princess Samantha was not alone.

Time's up. Princess Samantha bid goodbye to the beautiful re-built kingdom and back to her own castle. Her hands were rough, her skin was tanned, but she was still the cheerful jolly Princess Samantha. The king and queen gave her a tight welcoming hug! Both King and Queen were so sad seeing their lovely daughter's rough hand and rugged hair yet so proud of her. They passed her the crown and putting it on her cut-short hair.

Princess Samantha politely rejected, "No crown, we work as a team!"

This should be the way, everybody, no matter who you are, should pour in your efforts, togetherness, equality, co-operation. Glory is meant to be shared!

Wellington Sunday Market

It's Sunday again! It's time to go pasar!
You know, due to the cheap price, there are a lot of people get their weekly groceries there! You can find the cheap heaps of fruits and vegetables! The stalls are mostly run by the Chinese and Maori community.

I like there, just like every Sunday i went to pasar with my mum! But this pasar is much bigger! I like to see the big basket of apples, apricots, peaches, bananas, plums, strawberries, nectarines, mangoes, tomatoes etc. My god, i love fruits! It's like a paradise of fruits!
See, apple season is on! 5kg of apples, a big sacks, only costs you 4 bucks!

It's a lovely morning to shop at this Sunday market (although it's really heavy to carry all the stuffs alone) !

Cheers!

Too Many Chiefs But Too Little Indians

You know, I was told this morning, Too Many Chiefs But Too Little Indians. This is the problems happened here. See, so many persons with different authorities, with different sayings. Remember a saying goes as Work As A Team, definitely not like this! With so many chiefs, the direction is not fixed. With different benefits wanted, the implementation of ideas is varies.

Look at it properly, the Indians are only asking to earn a living. Once the problem is solved, then nothing to worry. However, too few Indians, yet the chiefs are arguing with different stands and opinions. The Indians are confused, who to follow? What to follow?

In the end, blood is still thicker than water. After turning a big circle, it comes to the central point which was the beginning. After so much happened, now back to the old story, old system.

How I miss my carefree laugh...When will it be ended? Or it starts to circle again...then back to the starting point...round and round and round...never ending...

Big Apple? Rotten Apple?

There's come a big apple, everybody is trying so hard to get near to it. From far, it is nice to see, looked so delicious.

Sooner or later, people who get near to it discover there is something fishy about the apple, something wrong with it. Some says, it's rotten! Throw it away!

Some still blinded by it's external beauty, claiming that, no! It's still okay!

By keeping the rotten apple, other good apples infected, to a certain extent. At first, there is a crowd to approach the apples, now no more, because the news of rotten apple has spread.

No matter how unbearable, rotten apple should be thrown away.

It does not mean that rotten apple is not good, it is good in somewhere else, not certainly not for fruit consumption purpose...

Well, at last, it is thrown.

It's time for the other apples to start re-organizing and get a fresh start!

Stay or Leave

This is the most frequent questions poured on me lately. Anyway, I have made up my mind, I am leaving this beautiful city in the first week of June.

Great people are met here, I am fortunate. I have been learning a lot, yet a long journey to go. This is my learning place, regardless how tiring, I told myself, "Hey! Hang on! Do your best in everything!" Yeah, I don't want any regret, that's y i put 100% effort in everything i did.

Some thought I am such a stupid idiot for working so hard yet getting so little paid. Hey, the rewards i got cannot be judged by merely look at my bank book! I must say, the experience and people I met are my greatest gift! I really appreciate it! You know, I am always so happy and enjoy to work in this kind of restaurant. Bringing the joy to the customers, and watching them so satisfied with everything gives me a lot of satisfaction. Although it's stressful to think of promotion to increase the daily sales, yet the joy when seeing the sales are getting picked up was indescribable. I love the challenge, although it sucks out my energy. I don't really mind, as long as I could see my effort paid off. As I say, I would like to see how far I could go and I will definitely put my 100% effort in whatever I am doing right now.

There are a lot of unbearables to leave here, I am sure I will. Yet, I miss my family and friends in Malaysia. They are so sweet and so caring towards me. I love you guys! My love towards them will always bring me back...no matter how far I go.

Anyway, this is only the starting point...I have a long way to go! Keep it up!

Cheers!

New Room

It has been a while since my arrival in Wellington.

In the past few weeks, i have been moving a lot, nomad life. From one place to another, traveling by bus and walking around. Yet it made me more familiar with this town. I like to keep moving, static to one place is definitely not a choice for me!

Finally I have settled down. Found my little room with the least rent, but equiped with all i want (internet accessment, kitchen, bed, tv etc). The tenants in this appartment including ppl from all over the world, chile, brazil, bangladesh, china, itali, french and so on. However, they are really nice and friendly. But i can hardly spend time in my room, since i spent almost all my time in working!

A lot of people would be wondering, what the hell you are doing lately? why i am like suddenly disappear from everyone? In fact, in the past few weeks, I have been experiencing the most hectic life in my life. A lot of new things to learn and to catch up. I appreciated the opportunity given and I am not afraid to try everything. Every task given, I would never say no until I try my best but fail. Because of this principle, yes, I learnt a lot.

Though the life is hectic and sometimes unbearable, but I am always the lucky one. Assistance is always there, no matter how hard it is. I have no fear in facing anything, I know I will be okay at last. But I truly grateful for everyone here. It is whom made me growing. Heaps of tears and laughs, which recorded my memory here.

I should say, this is an exciting and interesting place, with different stories to be told everyday, like a never ending drama series.

Planning to update my news here more often...I will see how it goes...But for time being I really do not have any clue where and how to start with...

Hangi and Prince William Visit

We learnt all kinds of methods of cooking, such as boiling, stir frying, deep frying, steaming, brewing, baking...Today i leanrn something new: Hangi!

A hangi (pronounced 'hungee') is a traditional New Zealand Maori method of cooking food using heated rocks buried in a pit oven that dates back to pre-European times.

Hangi, which means 'supply of life', are normally dug by Maori ira tane (men) as the Maori Wahine (women) aren't allowed to take part in the preparation.

To 'lay a hangi' involves digging a pit in the ground, heating stones in the pit with a large fire, placing baskets of food on top of the stones, and covering everything with earth for several hours before uncovering the hangi.

Nowadays a hangi is most likely to be prepared using modern materials.

Today is the Prince William second day visit in New Zealand. I wanted to go out to get a glimpse of the dashing royal, but forgot about this idea when lots of things turn up to think and settle...It was such a welcoming for this Prince Charming! All the news are circulating about his daily activities. Of course, William could not miss the hangi food!

New Year Eve

First time in my life, my new year is without my family around.

1st of January, it is my dear youngest sister's birthday. This year, I have nothing for you, dear. This year, I did not deliver the birthday song for you with my sweetest voice.

In the click of the midnight, I was still in the restaurant. In the dim light, wiping some cutleries. All the youngsters' cheers for new year are audible. We have some chips, as dinner. Toasting, greeting each other a happy new year.

On the way back home, there are a lot of merry ppl with bottles in hands, walking either in group or couples. Everyone of them, once passing by, greeting you a happy new year, some even come over to give u a hug! That's the scene in my place.

Reaching home, i was totally beat up, too exhausted. Turned to sleep after a quick bath. Goodbye 2009.