Oh....the smell in Malaysia

I missed the food in Malaysia.

It's the season of durian now...how could I miss it?

People said eating durian, the best way is squating while licking your fingers...yummy yummy!

I missed Festival DuanWu. However, Aunt still made some dumpling and gave some to us this morning...I love it!

I'm just loving it!

I am back

Being back to the place where I have never been more familiar with...relieved...yet - sickness breakdown!

Having fever, diarrhoea...weakness was creeping all over my veins. I really need a rest.

Nice rest...though sick.

A Night of Fun

Upset stomach

1.26am - humid surrouding, sweating, drying throat, heart thumping unvoluntarily, suffocating...I really feel very hard to breath in this damp weather. Every inhalation brings the uncomfortable feeling of my stomach.

Honestly, I am not feeling well. In this early hour, I just taken a bath, with the fragrance of shampoo and lotion lingering around.

Another sleepless night. I thought of going out for a walk yet the main door for the flat was locked by the caretaker. I thought of sitting at the balcony to enjoy the breeze yet the mosquitoes were jealous to share the limited wind with me. I thought of calling somebody to chat yet everybody was asleep in this hour. What can I do? Luckily I have my loyal Dell, who is always there for me.

I have experienced a bad day previously, vomitting and dizziness. Now, I still have the funny feeling inside my stomach. Every thought of the food here fills me with nausea. I miss the mee soup in Malaysia. I miss my mum's bland yet delicious food.

People said, when you are sick, you miss home the most. Now I am experiencing it...I couldn't wait to go back HOME.

Good-bye Guruji

Almost 2 months I was away from home, it's time to face the reality I am going home, not in my dream anymore.

Last Sunday I attended my last dancing class. I already picked up the whole folk song, Dhitang Dhitang. Nevertheless I still need a lot of practice on my own to polish my postures and movements, to make it perfect. I desperately love it. I told Guruji (Ms Nandini Sinha), every Sunday was the day I looked forward. I love to learn dancing from her. Her senior student, Kalyani, a graceful and beautiful dancer, always being there to guide me, with lots of love and patience. I enjoy the duet dancing with Kalyani, she always brought up the happiness and joy of the song!

In the end of my last session, we took pictures and video. It was such a moment which I always tried to avoid. I love them! I do not bear to say good-bye... Tears welling up in my eyes, I tried my hardest not to let it dropping.

Guruji has inpired me about the passion of dancing. There are so many possibilities out there...never give up what you love, fight for it!

Good-bye, dear Guruji and Kalyani! All the best!

As I walking out from the doorway, I could bear it no more...tears bursting out finally...out of gratefulness.

Dedicated to my beloved...

I don't get to see him as frequent as others. Yet I know he is always there.

We had a puppy, named Bobby. Then it was hit by him, dead, accidently. I sobbed and cried. I was heart-broken. I did not talk, shutting myself to everyone else. I blamed him. I blamed his carelessness. But nothing I could do to unwind the situation. Until recently, he sms me about that incident, so many years has gone. In fact he was so sorry about it. He did not talk about it in those years. 15 years, he carried the guilt all the way by himself. Please, it's ok! Please do not feel sorry about it. I know it was an accident.

A big fight happened, more than one decades ago. He promised me, in the phone, "something is gonna be changed, but not our relationship. I will still call you, see you, as before, and ever, ever after." I was speachless, but the promise remains in my heart.

Sometimes I was mad at him, by not knowing what exactly happened to me in school. Everything was so hard to be explained, he was always out of the situation. But this out-of-the-situation behaviour made me feel comfortable when I wish to run away from my daily chaos. Just talk to him. Carefree. It was just casual and relax. Nothing to fake around, just be the most real ME!

Some people doubts his ability in bearing his responsibity. I do not. What I ask for is not merely the richness in physical materials. I am provided with those, to the basic level. I do not expect any fancy from him, although he would try his very best to satisfy if I make any request. I am deeply grateful. Something which really makes him so special to me is not the material things he bought me, provided me, it is the kinship he showers me all this long.

He updates himself with recent news which might get us interested with. He literates himself with the recent technological and digital stuffs. He goes online, msn, email. He is my most loyal blog follower. I counldn't be more proud of him!

Once a while, he sends me sms with heart-warming and encouraging words, keeps me going. Somehow, his protective manner did put me into some sort of quandary. He wish I could stay away from every risky (I would say, adventurous) trip / activity. I admit I am spontaneous, impulsive and keep things to myself most of the times. All I wish for is a little bit more trust and confidence on me. I know I have them, you do not know how appreciative I am.

Last month, I saw the worries and unwillingness in your eyes at the airport. Before all that, you were reluctant to let me go for this trip until you knew my determination. You knew there was no way to change my mind since I've had made up my mind, you raised the white flag. I am really sorry for being such a stubborn person to negotiate with. But thanks for your supportive manner after all. You gave me all I asked for. Although we are thousands miles apart, I don't feel alone.

Deep in my heart, I know, you are there for me, all the time.

I love you, pa! Happy Father's Day!

Chic Kut Teh in Kolkata

Familiar smell...from the pressure cooker...

Smell of chic kut teh! Surprise!

Yes...I am preparing the traditional famouse Malaysian Chinese dish for all the dear staffs in the office...

I am glad they love it!

Number with Feeling

35, 36, 37, 38...

As the number increasing, they get more and more excited, enthralled. Result oriented, number oriented...Each number represents one participant.

Since when, I have been becoming a number. I am not aware which number is me (it doesn't really matter, since every number is only a symbol), yet I know I am just a number, just a part of their project.

Human relationship is always complicated, with emotional nuances. Being a number, SINCERITY and TRUST and PROMISES and RESPECT are NONSENCE.

Fortunately I have self-acknowledgement, as I am a human being constituted of flesh and blood. I know where I stand, I shall not pretend to be a happy number, but I will be a happy me, in my own way!

P/S: I am blessed as there are more people here with brighter eyes, treat us as real individual with own characteristics. So, for those whose eyes being blind-folded by the handkerchief of "achievement in numbers", who cares?

Neighbourhood

It was such a pleasant night. We have visited our neighbour, Banerjee's Family.
There are 4 of them. I found it was so joyful to be able to talk to the both sisters of Banerjee, Tiyana and Tithi. They are almost the same age with us. This made our conversation fun and non-stop! We met their parents, we will so welcomed. I have a warm family feeling. It was so nice!
We talked so much, from around 7pm until midnight...chatting and laughing...from India to Malaysia, from politic to economy, from studies to relationship, from food to language, from sport to dance...
Normally I will sleep at 10-11pm, but today was just not feeling glanto (tired) at all. I felt so happy to be able to stay at their house. It was a home-stay kind of feeling. Maybe I truly miss home, miss the way to be taken care as child, miss the fights and jokes with my sisters, miss the time I could simply throw my tantrum at house...Too much of missings. To me, no matter where I go, my family remains the utmost important part inside of me. I couldn't make myself stop missing them. Yet, this doesn't stop me from going away from home. Going away makes you more appreciate what you have, yourself, your family, your country...

Victoria's Memorial

Finally we reached Victoria's Memorial!
I have heard of it before coming India, it was destined to be one of my MUST-SEE destination.
Few pictures taken. Breathtaking building. Unfortunately we were not allowed to take photo inside the building, it was such a QUEEN'S place!

Sleepless night scratch...

10 more working days. 18 days more staying at Kolkata.
Deep in my heart, I really appreciate the kindness of Mr. Amitava to accept us as trainees. He has given us the utmost help in either logding, working, leisure and everything here. Although we are not like other interns from other countries (I have to say a Malaysian youth like me is quite different from people from other countries). Sometimes, I wonder I am too serious, too obedient, too conservative, too naive, as a youth. Perhaps I should have gone miles beyond, I should have done more.
In my daily routine, flashing back, it is always Mon-Fri class, the only leisure is onlining and swimming. Immersing in the night time movies/drama series which the characters were having fantasy besides normal life. Sounds bored, right? No wonder people here will think we are nerds, too dull to hang around with. I could not agree more. Socialize. This is the word. Are more and more youths lack of the skill in socializing? We stick with our best friends all the time, our social circle could hardly expand. Normalizing..We felt comfortable with the normal lifestyle.
Honestly I felt quite uncomfortable in mixing around with people from different background and chatting in nonsense and without knowing what is the purpose of spending the time with them (again, a confession of a nerd!). All I prefer is simple life, maybe building stronger relationship with people who I fond of. But not hanging around aimlessly, just for killing time. Socialize for the sake of socializing, is it true and practical?
Confused. Yet again, I decided to keep my confusion back safely in the Pandora's Box, remained un-opened.

China Town, Kolkata

To quench the thirst for Chinese food, we've had a nice eating out at a Chinese restaurant.

Imagine, this is my first time talking to localist in Mandarin! It was a middle-age man sitting at the roadside, we were asking the direction. He mentioned, most of the Chinese (or youngsters prefer to call them Chinkies) here can speak Mandarin, they are Hakka. His mandarin is very good, with some slang of the authentic real Chinese people.

Talking about Chinese, in the coming 23 June, 4 Chinese interns from Beijing would be coming to fulfill their traineeship in Banglanatak. I wish I have the opportunity to meet them!

Talking back of the Chinese Restaurant, Kim Ling. We ordered Honey Chicken, Stir Fried Spinach and Black Pepper Crab Meat. Yun Ling and I wish to eat tofu, as stated in the menu, however tofu was not available on that particular day. Quite dissappoited...

Anyway, being able to eat the plain steam rice with the dishes was really a pleasant experience. At that moment, I think of Dad, as he is always the one bringing us to chinese restaurant during the lovely weekend evenings. I let him have a conversation with Mr.Raja, as he was the one who brought us for the lovely dining out. It's funny to know dad was conversed in English. LOl!

In the end of the meal, we were served with a small bowl of colourful mouth freshener. The taste was "exciting" to me, the dried herbs and some sort of pungent flavour really excited my palate.
Cheers!

Idyllic Retreat

It was such a great experience to be able to pay a visit to the folk song (Baul Fakiri) singer's village at Krishnanagar.

Though, it was a long journey (4 hours from office to the destination). The place is no longer belonged to Kolkata, West Bengal neither. We were entering the other state, which we are told to be the very border of Bangladesh.

Inside the car, it was gorom (hot). The torrid noonday sun did not spare us. Moreover, its confederacy, the wind brought the hostile scorching air, assaulting us. However, the unbearable heat was later changed into exciting exclaims!

Greenery! The huge borderless grassy lawn was amazing!

I do appreciate to be allowed to wander into the idyllic village. Though walking under the sun, suddenly the hostile heat turned into the most welcoming fervency. I enjoy the serenity and simplicity of the village, I really do.

Amidst the greenery, there are butterflies flapping their colourful wings; seasonal birds soaring in the deep blue sky; ducks gliding through the lake effortlessly; cows are taking nap under the trees but some are just grazing the grass in the laziest manner. How I wish I could be part of it!

The best part of my trip to India is to able to escape from the daily routine. The trip to this lovely village indeniably even fulfilled my retreat.

Serenity. Tranquility. Why so worry? Life can be as simple as it was supposed to be!