Dedicated to my beloved...

I don't get to see him as frequent as others. Yet I know he is always there.

We had a puppy, named Bobby. Then it was hit by him, dead, accidently. I sobbed and cried. I was heart-broken. I did not talk, shutting myself to everyone else. I blamed him. I blamed his carelessness. But nothing I could do to unwind the situation. Until recently, he sms me about that incident, so many years has gone. In fact he was so sorry about it. He did not talk about it in those years. 15 years, he carried the guilt all the way by himself. Please, it's ok! Please do not feel sorry about it. I know it was an accident.

A big fight happened, more than one decades ago. He promised me, in the phone, "something is gonna be changed, but not our relationship. I will still call you, see you, as before, and ever, ever after." I was speachless, but the promise remains in my heart.

Sometimes I was mad at him, by not knowing what exactly happened to me in school. Everything was so hard to be explained, he was always out of the situation. But this out-of-the-situation behaviour made me feel comfortable when I wish to run away from my daily chaos. Just talk to him. Carefree. It was just casual and relax. Nothing to fake around, just be the most real ME!

Some people doubts his ability in bearing his responsibity. I do not. What I ask for is not merely the richness in physical materials. I am provided with those, to the basic level. I do not expect any fancy from him, although he would try his very best to satisfy if I make any request. I am deeply grateful. Something which really makes him so special to me is not the material things he bought me, provided me, it is the kinship he showers me all this long.

He updates himself with recent news which might get us interested with. He literates himself with the recent technological and digital stuffs. He goes online, msn, email. He is my most loyal blog follower. I counldn't be more proud of him!

Once a while, he sends me sms with heart-warming and encouraging words, keeps me going. Somehow, his protective manner did put me into some sort of quandary. He wish I could stay away from every risky (I would say, adventurous) trip / activity. I admit I am spontaneous, impulsive and keep things to myself most of the times. All I wish for is a little bit more trust and confidence on me. I know I have them, you do not know how appreciative I am.

Last month, I saw the worries and unwillingness in your eyes at the airport. Before all that, you were reluctant to let me go for this trip until you knew my determination. You knew there was no way to change my mind since I've had made up my mind, you raised the white flag. I am really sorry for being such a stubborn person to negotiate with. But thanks for your supportive manner after all. You gave me all I asked for. Although we are thousands miles apart, I don't feel alone.

Deep in my heart, I know, you are there for me, all the time.

I love you, pa! Happy Father's Day!