Adulthood = Freedom? Responsibiltiy?

My ex-boss in India, Mr.Amitave poured me with one question once: 'Do you consider yourself as an adult?'



After few seconds of hesitation, my answer was 'Yes'.


During my stay in India, since I was the eldest in the house. Most of the time, I need to take care of the house, from cleanliness to waking up housemate. I was as if the 'mummy' of the house. The responsibility was somehow annoying. "Why it was always me?" This kind of questions sometimes drove me crazy.



From the above case, perhaps I have to admit, I am not yet an adult.


As grown ups, the responsibility of adult power can feel like the ticking bomb. Some of us do not want to hold onto it too long for the fear of what might happen. It has the familiar ring of childhood security, as we sink back into dependence upon strong adults to take care of us. This is often what we secretly wish we could go back to.



For instance, in the journey to Thailand few days ago, with my dad. Everything was being taken care. I did not have to worry what time to wake up, plan where to go, what time to meet and how much was the best bargain. Everything was arranged without my worries. It was a luxurious trip, to me.
Yet, the satisfaction was certainly greater in India comparatively. We were told not to be too hurry to grow up but to enjoy the childhood instead. However, what is there to enjoy about always being told you cannot do something, having your judgement being second guessed. As a result, we don't just learn not to chase the ball into the street, but the go-get-it impulse we had as we saw the ball go into the street. In other words, we lose our curiosity and urge to pursue something which we want. This is the sad story of people who could not or don't want to leave their childhood.


As a young adult, I tend to be indecisive and tentative. Most of the time, I look for my parents blessing instead of approval for a certain decision. I need them to side with my responsibility and independence. Fortunely, my parents are aware, I am an adult (legally). They respect my decision, only thing is I have to bear with any consequence. I enjoy the freedom, to a certain extent. Yet, sometimes I really wish to give up this power because I was afraid, I was scared to bear any bad outcome.


The time has come, for me to strive a balance between freedom and responsility.