I wanna be...

Boys and girls, today you have a write up an essay entitled "Who I Want To Be in the Future?"

Familiar title huh? I believe everyone of us has written this kind of essay, in every language we learnt. It always starts as "Everyone has dream/ambition, so as I"; "人人都有理想，我也不例外"; "Setiap orang mempunyai cita-cita, termasuklah saya". Pondering it, is it true?

Yes, we used to yell as loud as possible about our great dream when we were small. Then, the volume of the yelling gets lower and lower as days pass. Finally in the very stage to start a career, we whisper: DID we have a dream?

Instead, I will suggest we asked ourselves, "Do I remember my dream?"

In this very moment, we have to choose a place for our industrial training. After 6 months of that internship, then we shall bid goodbye to textbook and exam and assignment and the truancy games. Flashing back...

UPSR results released.
"I wanna be a doctor. Everyone says doctor is great. I wanna be someone great."

PMR results released.
"I wanna be a great professor, with a big spectacles and lots of encyclopedias held in hands."

SPM results released.
"I wanna be a pharmacist. I love playing around with chemistry formula and it looks dashing with the white lab-coat!"

STPM results released.
"I wanna be a nutritionist. Still I can wear my dream white coat and consult people."

In university, results releasing means nothing much to me. It's just an evaluation of how much you manage to memorize in the last night of exam day. Who do you wanna be? Nobody cares to ask me this question. In front of the mirror, I try to ask this question in a careful way. I see the same image as years back, but I can't read her mind.

Meander. It's what in the cloud around her head. Perhaps, it is a way to run away from facing the shattering of all the so-called ambition. Perhaps, it is a way to find another true self. Perhaps, it is where she was meant to be.

Well, every field is fertile enough to grow. Just stride, finally there would be a greener pasture.